In my mind I’m going to Carolina

In early 2011 we began exploring the idea of moving overseas. During this process we realized that even if we never got the chance to move to Paris, we were ready to move somewhere.

We decided we wanted to live:

• - in a bigger city that offered more culturally
• - somewhere more diverse
• - somewhere more liberal
• - somewhere with a warmer winter

After consulting google and doing a great deal of research both on-line and off, we decided on Durham, North Carolina. Ironically, we had the exact same plan in 1997 when we were living in Chicago. We had no plans to move back to my hometown, but wanted to leave Chicago. We researched and decided the research triangle area of North Carolina sounded nice and were planning to visit later that year to check it out. Before we ever got a chance to visit I got a little too homesick and we decided to move to back to Kansas.

This year marks thirteen years since we moved back to Kansas City. Part of my homesickness stemmed from the fact that the only contact I had with friends and family outside of my visits every few months, were letters and phone calls and that wasn’t enough to keep me feeling connected. Thirteen years later we have email, Facebook and Skype. I’ve had friends move away and seen that I am still very much connected to them. Moving away from family and friends isn’t scary anymore.

Almost nine years ago I became a mother and since then, my idea of the best place to raise a family has changed dramatically. At first, the most important thing was to live in the best school district. What I didn’t realize then was that later I would see that living there meant I was exposing my children to the idea that, by comparison, the poor people lived in $200,000 houses. We were showing them that ‘normal’ was white, wealthy, straight and Christian. I have nothing against any of those things, but I want my children to see that those are just some of the many ways to be in this world. That these things do not define normal, but just that they are common. I want them to also have friends who are black, not wealthy, gay and Jewish or Atheist or Muslim or Hindu. I want them to see more than just one way of being.

Now that my husband has found a new job, we just need to sell our house here in Kansas, and then we’ll be moving.  The bittersweet feelings remind me of leaving for college. I couldn’t be more excited. I know it is going to be amazing! And  I’m also a little scared.  I’m sad to leave my family and friends.  But even though I’m a little scared and sad, I know it is going to be a great adventure and I can’t wait for it to begin.

Dark and silent late last night
I think I might have heard the highway calling
Geese in flight and dogs that bite
Signs that might be omens say I’m going, going
I’m goin’ to Carolina in my mind

James Taylor

Related posts:

1. Downshifting (part 2)
2. Paris. My inspiration to get rid of more stuff.